


Half of me/you

by YourLocalJarHead



Series: Me and Pastelpancakes warrior series [1]
Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Amnesia, Cats, Dark Forest, DarkClan, Devil, F/F, F/M, Gen, LGBTQ, M/M, OCs - Freeform, Original Characters - Freeform, Other, PineClan, Quartzclan, StarClan, Wolves, angel - Freeform, ashclan, lostsouls, rubbleclan, the place of no stars
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 18:36:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 11,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16143107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourLocalJarHead/pseuds/YourLocalJarHead
Summary: H̶a̶l̶f̶ ̶O̶f̶ ̶Y̶o̶u̶ ̶A̶l̶w̶a̶y̶s̶ ̶K̶n̶e̶w̶ ̶H̶a̶l̶f̶ ̶M̶e̶ ̶S̶o̶m̶e̶w̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶K̶n̶o̶w̶s̶____________________________________________________________________________________________One is your siblingOne is hersOne is yoursYou must go on the path of starsAnd find what must be foundBOOK 1 IN THE SERIES(Special thanks to my friend Pastelpancakes on Wattpad for writing the series with me. They don’t have an ao3 so unfortunately I can’t list them as a co-creator.)





	1. Alligences

Cat clans   
Quartzclan   
Leader  
Rosestar- a pinkish she-cat with light grey eyes   
Deputy  
Jasperwing- a ginger tom with brown and black spots and purple eyes  
Medicine cat  
Lilacdream- a grey she-cat with faint ginger specks and a small moon on her head, Smokypaw   
Warriors  
Saphiresong- a blueish grey she-cat   
Agateclaw- a ginger tom with dark ginger markings, Flutterpaw  
Rubyblaze- a dark ginger she-cat with blazing Amber eyes, Pearlpaw  
Peridotpelt- a greenish she-cat with brown spots  
Moonstone- a blueish grey tom with grey eyes  
Sunstone- a yellow she-cat with green eyes, Aquapaw   
Berylbreeze- a swift grey tom with green eyes   
Carnelianclaw- a dark ginger she-cat  
Amazonstride- a large greenish blue tom, Tanpaw   
Citrinestep- a dark grey tom with blazing amber eyes, Jadepaw   
Queens   
Emeraldgaze- a brown she-cat with emerald eyes   
Opalheart- a white she-cat with blue eyes and dark ginger markings   
Apprentices   
Pearlpaw- a creamy white she-cat with light blue eyes  
Jadepaw- a greenish tom with purple eyes   
Tanpaw- a greyish blue tom with yellow eyes   
Aquapaw- a light greyish blue she-cat with yellow eyes   
Flutterpaw- a sandy coloured she-wolf  
Smokypaw- a brown and white she-cat with light purple eyes   
Elders  
Tigereye- a brown tom with lighter markings   
Fluoriteblossum- a greenish she-cat 

Rubbleclan  
Leader  
Stormystar- a dark grey tabby tom with dark blue eyes   
Deputy   
Blazingwing- a black she-cat with white and ginger in her pelt   
Medicine cat   
Sweetberry- a yellow and white she-cat with soft blue eyes   
Warriors   
Aldersong- a brown tabby tom with deep purple eyes   
Greenapple- a greenish tom with Amber eyes   
Quickstep- a large agile black and white tom   
Timberheart- a brown tom with Amber eyes, Hazelpaw  
Hailwhisper- a light grey tabby tom with yellow eyes   
Rainspatter- a dark grey she-cat with light blue eyes   
Fluffycloud- a white and grey she-cat with a very fluffy pelt   
Scarletwing- a dark ginger she-cat with purple eyes  
Deerleap- a nimble brown she-cat with brown specks across her fur   
Queens  
Goldengaze- a golden she-cat with white in her pelt and tabby stripes  
Gingersplash- a ginger and white she-cat with blue eyes   
Silentwish- a dark greyish blue she-cat with glowing Amber eyes   
Apprentices   
Hazelpaw- a small hazel she-cat   
Tansypaw- a yellow and white she-cat with lighter tabby stripes  
Squirrelpaw- a ginger she-cat white paws, ears, muzzle, chest and tail tip  
Acornpaw- a light brown tabby tom with white in his pelt   
Elders  
Redrush- a dark ginger tom   
Tanglepaws- a brown tom with darker spots   
Yellowgaze- a dark greyish black she-cat with yellow eyes 

Wolf clans 

Ashclan  
Amberstar- a ginger she-wolf with green eyes and a star on her head  
Deputy  
Silverbirch- a silver she-wolf with black stripes and bright blue eyes  
Healer   
Waterlilly- a blueish grey she-wolf, Oakpaw  
Warriors   
Willowsong- a yellow she-wolf with white stripes,belly,paws,ear tip and muzzle   
Lotusleap- a pinkish she-wolf with green eyes   
Maplecry- a brown, ginger and dark ginger tortoise shell she-wolf with a white belly, paws, muzzle and ears, Beep   
Bumbleheart- a yellow tom with brown spots, Pinepaw  
Cherryblossom- a dark ginger and ginger she-wolf with light purple eyes  
Palmstep- a tall hazely coloured she-wolf with light green eyes   
Whiteoak- a brown and white tom with yellow eyed   
Bramblestorm- a dark brown tabby with dark blue eyes   
Forestblaze- a dark brown tom with ginger spots and yellow eyes  
Cloveclaw- a white she-wolf with light green eyes  
Rowanblaze- a large brown and Amber tom   
Queens   
Foxglove- a dark ginger and white she-wolf  
Lavendersong- a light pinkish she-wolf  
Apprentices  
Pinepaw- a tall brown tom with beaming green eyes   
Oakpaw- a small light brown tabby tom with light green eyes   
Beepaw- a yellow and black tom with light blue eyes   
Tulippaw- a dark ginger she-wolf  
Bonsaipaw- a brown cat with green eyes  
Elders  
Daisyclaw- a yellow and white she-cat   
Nutmeg- a brown she-cat 

Pineclan   
Leader   
Eaglestar- a brown tom with a white chest,paws,muzzle,ear and tail tips and piercing blue eyes   
Deputy  
Wolfcry- a large black tom with dark blue eyes, Wagpaw   
Healer  
Mouseheart- a small brown and grey she-wolf   
Warriors   
Kestrelclaw- a brown tom with white in his fur   
Silentswoop- a swift dark blue she-wolf   
Swiftbreeze- a agile black and white tom   
Nightsecho- a black she-wolf with blazing Amber eyes   
Badgerfang- a black and white tom with a sharp bite   
Foxstep- a sly ginger she-wolf  
Hawkeye- a brown tom with a white chest, muzzle, ears, tail tip and paws and a few darker stripes   
Blackbird- a black she-wolf with shining yellow eyes   
Wolfssong- a small white she-wolf with black in her pelt   
Owltalon- a lean black she-wolf with brown and white in her pelt   
Queens   
Hopeheart- a yellow and white she-wolf  
Preywish- a grey and white she-wolf  
Apprentices   
Wagpaw- a small black and white she-wolf   
Sparrowpaw- a brown tom  
Smallpaw- a small black and white tom   
Volepaw- a brown tom   
Elders   
Sorrowsong- a black and white tom


	2. She remembers

She remembers a day when they used to play. They'd secretly meet up. See Lilacpaw and Amberpaw were siblings, but they lived in different clans. They were half breeds. Half blood. Unloved.... 

She liked those times. It was fun. Just the two of them. Without their clans breathing down their necks. Never caught in there fun. Well that's a lie. Once Lilacpaw's mentor saw them but let them continue. She said something about it being in the path of the stars, and that it was expected? Lilacpaw was never sure what she meant by it. Even now she was no longer Lilacpaw but Lilacdream. 

Lilacdream wasn't even sure if Amberpaw ever existed or if he was just a figment of her imagination. Was that part of her path then? To get her brother ripped from her? Was that to be expected? Lilacdream shook the bitterness from her mind. No she shouldn't think like that. Her ancestors knew what they where doing. She shouldn't doubt them like that.... 

"Lilacdream? Lilacdream!" A voice calling her awoke her from her dream. What was it again? Oh yeah. Amberpaw. "Lilacdream we're about to leave for the gathering! Rosestar told me to get you." The voice belonging to her apprentice snickered a bit. "She said you'd be asleep." Lilacdream smiled and hauled herself to her feet, yawning in the process. She wasn't exactly the most energetic cat, but in her defence the gathering was tonight so she needed it.   
"Ok. Come on then! What are you waiting for?!" Lilacdream asked pushing past Smokypaw,(her apprentice), and taking her by surprise. She bounded out into the clearing only stopping when she reached Rosestar. And then they headed off. 

There were 3 more clans over than her clan, Quartzclan. The others were Rubbleclan, Ashclan and Pineclan. She didn't really talk to Ashclan warriors much though.... the only person in Ashclan she did talk to was their healers. But she kinda had too. If she didn't she probably wouldn't. She was nice though. 

But then Lilacdream saw him. A lean muscular she-cat. Amber with dark purple eyes. Amberpaw. She was sure. That was exactly what he looked like. Lilacdream was about to approach her when another cat loomed over her.   
"I wouldn't do that if I were you. As you know he got hit on the Moonwalk. He doesn't remember anything. Not even you. As far as he's aware he's not half blood and deserves the position he's gained. I'd rather keep it that way." Lilacpaw turned and was face to face with the brown and amber pelt of the Ashclan warrior. It was Rowanblaze... her father...

He sat there waiting for a response. Lilacdream felt a mixture of anger and sadness claw at her but she suppressed most of it and gave him a bitter "watch me," before stalking of to the other medicine cats/healers. There was no point in doing it now, the gathering was about to start so she'd wait until it was over and walk with Waterlilly to make an excuse. Maybe she could even use the fact Smokypaw was friends with Waterlilly's apprentice, Oakpaw, as an excuse. Lilacdream liked both of those ideas. 

She sat down next to Waterlilly and Mouseheart who was Pineclan's healer. Sweetberry hadn't come to join them yet. She was from Rubbleclan. She liked Sweetberry. "Hey Lilacdream!" Smokypaw mewed cutting off her train of thoughts, "are you ok? You look a little tense! Rowanblaze wasn't giving you any trouble.... was he?" She smiled down warmly at her apprentice.   
"It's okay I'm fine. Why don't you go find Oakpaw? I'm sure he'd love to see you. And when you do bring him back over," she quickly added, "bring Sweetberry back too!" And her apprentice yelled an, "okay," as she bounded into the gathering of cats and wolves.  
"She is right you know. You do seem very tense and I'm pretty sure you haven't realised but your playing nervously with your paws." Mouseheart told her concern racking his voice. Waterlilly nodded in agreement. She sighed. She didn't want to talk about this. Waterlilly seemed to pick up on this. "Our previous leader passed away a couple of days ago. Now Amberstar is our leader and he's Lilacdream's sister. The problem is is she doesn't know, and she hasn't seen him since she was a paw."   
Lilacdream just carried on shuffling her paws uncomfortably, not having anything to say. Mouseheart gave her a sympathetic glance and told her, "hey. I'm sure everything will work out." She just nodded hoping he was right. 

After a few seconds of silent Oakpaw and Smokypaw appeared dragging a poor Sweetberry behind them. Lilacdream chuckled. "It's not funny you know!" Sweetberry mewed as everybody began to settle down for the gathering to start.   
"Well it is pretty funny." Lilacdream replied.   
"I'll drag you all the way back to Rubbleclan and see how you like it!" Lilacdream was about to reply with a snarky comment when one of the leader yowled, so those who weren't quite were now.   
Her sister was first to speak. "Sadly a couple of days ago our leader passed away." Everyone was silent for a few seconds paying respect for him. Amberstar continued. "So I, Amberstar of Ashclan am the new leader." Howls of her name broke out from wolves that were from mostly Ashclan, but a few over cats and wolves joined in. Lilacdream included. Even if she didn't know him she still wanted to support her in any way she could. "Other than that we don't really have anything to report." None of the other leaders had anything interesting to say either, so Lilacdream stopped paying attention. And then it was over, nearly as quickly as it started. 

Lilacdream stood up and headed for the direction of Amberstar. "What are you doing?" Sweetberry asked following her tail.   
"Ticking off Rowanblaze?" She replied questioningly not really knowing what to tell her. She knew what she was doing anyway.   
"Well you be careful." She leaped forward so she was nearer her face now. "I wouldn't want him to tear your face off, and I should get going before Stormystar yells at me. So be quick."   
"Sweetberry! Hurry up! Stop dawdling!" Stormystar's yell could be heard above the chatter of the clans.   
"Too late." Lilacdream playfully nudged her. "Go. I'll be ok."   
"Sure?"   
"Sure."  
"I'll see you later."   
"Yeah bye Sweetberry!"   
"Goodbye Lilacdream!" And with that she bounded towards an annoyed looking Stormystar. Oops. 

Amberstar spotted her and padded over to her. "Can I help you?" She asked cocking her head slightly. She hadn't changed much.   
"Erm yeah. I couldn't find Smokypaw, my apprentice, and I was wondering if she was with Oakpaw."   
"Is that her over there?" Amberstar asked her, ears pointing in the direction she wanted her to look.   
"Yeah. It is actually." Lilacdream said slightly surprised. That had been a lie, but Smokypaw was actually with Oakpaw and it looked like Waterlilly was scolding them for something. She silently thanked Starclan.   
"What's your name?" She asked before she could leave. She froze. Lilacdream knew this was coming but it still stabbed her like a thorn.   
"Err. L-Lilacdream. I'm Quartzclan's medicine cat."   
"Ah. Ok. But one quick question. Aren't Quartzclan warriors named after precious stones? It's just I'm pretty sure Lilac isn't any kind of stone." Lilacdream tensed ever more, if that was possible.   
"Guess I'm just an exception." She forced a smile. "I'll go get Smokypaw and be off."   
"Goodbye Lilacdream. Stay safe!" He called after her.   
"You too!" She called back. Suddenly she wasn't at four trees. She was back in Quartzclan, saying goodbye to Amberpaw. She felt tears prick her eyes and a fresh wave of pain overcome her. No. No. I'm ok. It's fine. I'm not gonna cry. She took a deep breath and steadied her breathing. I'm fine. It's ok. Everything's alright. She padded back to camp trailing behind her clanmates, wondering how long she could believe the lies she was feeding herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Moonpath is the Thunderpath by the way. My friend wrote  Lib yum. Gnblfgm b while I was writing this.  
> ~YLJH AWAY


	3. Smokypaw isn’t a kit anymore

Lilacdream was preparing for the half moon, Smokypaw excitedly bouncing around her. "Careful." She warned. "I don't want to trip on you." Smokypaw stopped.   
"Sorry. I just want to go so bad! Getting prophecies is fun! And I can see the others too! They're all so nice!" Lilacdream smiled.   
"I know. I know. I'm nearly ready you can wait for me by the exit to camp if you like." She nodded and jumped out the den. Where in Starclan did Smokypaw get all that energy from? 

Once she was ready she padded out the den and joined Smokypaw and they pushed past the bushes blocking the entrance. They walked through the side with more trees, though there were still little. Quartzclan territory was very rocky and mountainous in parts. And then the trees cut of completely and there was a small clearing. A Moonwalk too. and then there was still more land with no trees on the other side, and the begging of Ashclan for that matter. But you could see the tall trees belonging to Ashclan on the other side, so not too far. Smokypaw sighed. This was when Lilacpaw always got obsessive. Always. 

"Please don't-" Smokypaw stopped as she was picked up by the scruff. "Never mind." Lilacdream looked both ways and then darted across the Moonwalk like a frightened rabbit. 

"Your getting heavy." Lilacdream panted once they were safe on the over side.   
"Yeah. Duh. That's cause apprentices aren't supposed to be picked up. I'm not a kit you know!"   
"I know." She sighed averting her gaze. "I just don't want you to get hurt," and without waiting for a reply she padded off into Ashclan territory. They had to go through Ashclan and Pineclan territory to get there. And a bit of Rubbleclan if you think about it. Well from Quartzclan anyway. 

It took a while for them to get there but eventually they arrived. Everyone except Sweetpaw was waiting. Smokypaw bounded up to them. "Lilacdream thinks I'm a kit!" Smokypaw announced bounding towards Oakpaw.   
"Why do you say that?" Mouseheart asked amused.   
"She carried me over the Moonwalk! Again!" Smokypaw's pelt ruffled in frustration. He continued to complain whilst Mouseheart and Waterlilly aggravated him more.

"Wow. What did I miss?" Sweetberry laughed seeing Smokypaw trying to claw at Mouseheart.   
"Not much." Lilacdream smiled. "Who's this?" She asked noticing a small light brown tabby tom, with white across his pelt.   
"Ah. This is my new apprentice. Why don't you say hi to everyone Bramblepaw?" Nervously he peeked his head round her paws.   
"Come on we don't bite." Mouseheart mewed encouragingly. "Well evidently Smokypaw does, but that's an exception." Lilacdream stepped forward, rolling her eyes playfully at Mouseheart's statement.  
"I'm Lilacdream." She told him bending down to his level, "that's my apprentice Smokypaw. We're from Quartzclan. And that over there is Mouseheart of Pineclan. And the other two are Waterlilly and Oakpaw from Ashclan." Bramblepaw nodded and stepped out of the shelter of Sweetpaw's legs.  
"I'm gonna have to catch up with you guys." Mouseheart told them, "you all have apprentices. I'm pretty sure I'll get one when hedgehogs fly!" Lilacdream snorted.   
"We should get going." Waterlilly advised standing up.   
"I think we should call you Mouseheart the apprenticeless!" Lilacdream declared as they headed off. Everyone minus Waterlilly laughed. She just shook her head.   
"I'm pretty sure all of you are kits! Not just Smokypaw."  
"Hey!" She yowled grumpily stomping her feet.   
"It's true though!" 

They stayed silent for a bit until spoke up. "Hey were nearly there! Last one there's a rotten piece of prey!"   
"But I don't know where I'm going!" Bramblepaw argued and when he got no reply he bounded after them, catching up surprisingly quickly. "Is this it?" He awed.  
"Yep!" Mouseheart replied.

Once they entered Sweetberry performed the ceremony and Lilacdream couldn't help awe at the power in her voice. She had such a nice voice. Lilacdream felt her ears go hot and didn't think anything else on the matter. Then they were ready to dream. 

Lilacdream was walking around some strange territory. She smelt Amberstar, Greenapple and Sweetberry as well as herself. This was odd though as Greenapple was a Rubbleclan warrior. She sat there puzzled. Was this what Garnetleaf had been talking about? About Starclan's path? It must be! 

Suddenly she felt something wet on her ear. "Your ears are hot? Have you been thinking about your little Sweetheart?" A voice whispered in her ear.  
"Sweet Starclan!!!!" Lilacdream yowled jumping out of her fur.   
"Starclan cats aren't the only cat that are sweet." It was Garnetleaf. Her mentor. Great. Her ears grew even more hot.   
"S-s-shut u-up! Your meant to be helping me!"   
"Oh but I am!" Garnetleaf made a face like this; ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). 

Lilacdream woke up not wishing to put up with her mentor anymore. She looked to her left at the other medicine cats, only Sweetberry was awake. And Lilacdream was still blushing. "Hey Lilacdream! You ok?"   
"Yeah." She sighed. "I was just being harassed by my mentor." Sweetberry chuckled.   
"What do you mean by that?"   
"Well.... err...." Lilacdream tried to find an explanation. "You know what she's like."   
"Yep." The two of them started to get lost in each overs eyes. They both blushed lightly and began to feel awkward.   
"I had a dream!" A loud mew broke their secret love gaze. "I had a dream! I had a dream! I had a dream!"   
"That's great Bramblepaw!" Sweetberry mewed at her apprentice recovering quickly.  
"What do we do now?" He asked eyes beaming.   
"Well Smokypaw's just waking up." Lilacdream mewed. "We could head back now together if you like!"   
"Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fjejdjdjfjfjx yard ug yivg ft I'm. An is what George has to say.


	4. Sounds like a plan

Lilacdream was talking to Sweetberry as they walked through Ashclan, Bramblepaw and Smokypaw walking behind them. They where nearly at the boarder when Amberstar appeared. Lilacdream stiffened. Sweetberry looked at her and smiled comfortingly, her tail brushing against her. She took a deep breath closing her eyes and tried to relax a little. 

"Hey Lilacdream. May err.... I talk to you... for a sec...?"   
"Okay...." Lilacdream padded over to him, the others waited. "Is everything okay?"   
"Yeah I just... I just had a dream."   
"What was it about? Was it a prophecy?" She pressed. His lack of details weren't helping. She wanted to help her. Her sister. She had to help her.   
"Well yes."  
"I'd love to help but.... would it be better to talk to Waterlilly?"   
She shook her head. "I feel like it should be you I tell." Lilacdream nodded waiting for her to continue.   
"It went like this...." he proceeded tell her the dream. About how a cat who didn't look or smell like any he'd seen. Lilacdream remembered her dream all of a sudden.   
"I've got it!" She pawed the earth and her ears shot up.  
"Yeah?" Her tail twitched with anticipation and her ears were up too now.   
"I had a dream. I was in unfamiliar territory. I smelt you and Sweetberry. Greenapple too. It must be where we need to go!"   
"Great! But we still don't know much...." he trailed off ears back down, her expression now showing she was deep in thought.   
"Well whatever it is, it's important. So we should rest for whatever's left of the night. And leave tomorrow. I'll tell Sweetberry on the way back, she can tell Stormystar. I'll tell Rosestar tomorrow. And we can get Greenapple on the way and explain to Eaglestar. You never know, they might now more. What do you say?"   
"Sounds like a plan!" Amberstar smiled at Lilacdream and she felt like they were apprentices again. Amberpaw puffing out her chest eyes beaming as she smiled down at Lilacpaw. So very proud of her little sister. Lilacdream felt sadness tug at her heart. She missed those days. She wished it was still like that. She missed Amberpaw.... 

As she slowly crossed the Moonwalk she had block out all her thoughts and when she got back to her bed she fell into a deep and troubled sleep.


	5. The new and the old

"̶L̶i̶l̶a̶c̶d̶r̶e̶a̶m̶!̶ ̶L̶i̶l̶a̶c̶d̶r̶e̶a̶m̶ ̶w̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶u̶p̶!̶"̶

"What have you done?!" Rowanclaw snarled over her, forcing her to back up.   
"I-I don't- I-" Lilacpaw stuttered for words she was finding it hard to wrap her head around everything that was happening. 

"̶L̶i̶l̶a̶c̶d̶r̶e̶a̶m̶!̶ ̶I̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶o̶k̶a̶y̶!̶"̶ ̶

"Just look at her!" He was still pushing her back.

"̶L̶i̶l̶a̶c̶d̶r̶e̶a̶m̶!̶"̶

"This is all your fault!" She'd backed up into a tree. It surprised her. She let out a squeak. 

"̶L̶i̶l̶a̶c̶d̶r̶e̶a̶m̶!̶"̶

She felt his paw press against her chest, pinning her to the tree.   
"You don't deserve Amberstorm! Just like she didn't deserve what you did to her!" His claws slipped out digging into her throat. She struggled feebly against him. She couldn't breathe.

"̶W̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶u̶p̶!̶"̶

Suddenly all the pressure was gone. Everything was a blurry she couldn't see she couldn't-.....

Everything was black.... 

So black.... 

"̶W̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶u̶p̶!̶"̶

Lilacdream shot up with a start gasping for breath tears pricking her eyes. "Lilacdream, are you ok?" A concerned mew asked. She was shaking. The voice sighed. "It's ok Lilacdream. It's ok." The voice wrapped around her and she cried. It continued to comfort her. When she calmed down she realised it was Rosestar. 

"Sorry....." she mumbled to her leader.   
"It's ok Lilacdream. Everyone has bad dreams every once in a while." But I don't, She thought, I have them all the time! "Smokypaw told me you needed to talk to me." She mewed, the concern still in her voice, but it was clear she was trying to change the subject. The prophecy! I completely forgot! Lilacdream twiddled with her paws as she explained to Rosestar. 

She dipped her head to her. "Do what you must. I'm sure it will be for the good the clans." Lilacdream let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. Rosestar had understood! Lilacdream could hardly believe it! Normally people didn't understand..... happiness and excitement swelled in her but Rosestar kept her there wanting to say more.

"Before you leave I think we should make Smokypaw a medicine cat too. You can share the job when you return." Rosestar suggested. Lilacpaw nodded thoughtfully.   
"I'd actually been dwelling on it for a while now. But I feel like now is probably the best time."   
"Well what are we waiting for?" Rosestar padded out the den and scrabbled up to the high ledge, she beckoned for Lilacdream to follow. "May all cats old enough to catch prey join us under the high rock for a clan meeting." Rosestar yowled. Quite murmurs could faintly be heard from below, the cats gazes concerned as to why the leader had called a clan meeting with their medicine cat. Luckily it wasn't bad news. They won't mind I'm leaving. Lilacdream thought to herself. 

"I have called you hear to discuss something important. It isn't bad news however. Lilacdream has received a prophecy from our ancestors up above and will be going on a journey to discover something that will benefit us all. But that's not the only thing I want to say before she leaves. Smokypaw, please step forward." Smokypaw felt her pelt tingle with uncertainty. Why were they calling upon her? 

"Smokypaw, do you promise to uphold the ways of a medicine cat, to stand apart from rivalry between Clan and Clan and to protect all cats equally, even at the cost of your life?" Lilacdream mewed her voice steady and powerful. Wait.... were they.... were they promoting her to medicine cat?!   
"I-I do." She mewed excitement filling her.   
"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your true name as a medicine cat. Smokypaw, from this moment on you will be known as Smokyquartz. StarClan honors your courage boundless energy and care for us all, and we welcome you as a full medicine cat of Quartzclan." 

Cheers of her name echoed through the clan and Smokyquartz's swelled with pride. Lilacdream hoped down from the highnledge and they touched noses, Smokyquartz giving her mentor a quick lick on the shoulder. "I will share duties with you when I return. I'm leaving the clan in your paws Smokyquartz." Lilacdream informed her, her new name sounding odd but still giving her more happiness to hear it aloud. "You will be fine, your a great medicine cat. May Starclan watch over you and keep you safe."   
"Good luck on your quest!" Smokyquartz replied. Suddenly a sadness overcame her. She didn't know when she'd see her mentor again. It could be moons! She burried her head in Lilacdream's scruff, breathing in her scent. "I'll miss you." She sniffled. "Come back to me in one piece."   
"Of course Smokyquartz. I'll still be with you in spirit." She put a paw on her new partners chest, smiling down at her. "Now I best be off." Smokyqaurtz nodded.   
"May Starclan light your path. Goodbye Lilacdream."   
"Goodbye Smokyqaurtz. If you need anything just ask Waterlilly or Yellowgaze. She's stepping in for Sweetberry. Sweetberry's coming with us." Smokyqaurtz nodded and watched as her mentor disappeared past the entrance to camp.


	6. Just like old times

"Lilacdream!" Lilacdream lifted her head up as she heard a voice her name.  
"Hello Amberstar." Lilacdream stiffened visibly as he was about to cross the Moonwalk.   
"You alright?" She asked stopping by the edge of it. A monster roared on the path rushing past her, knocking her off balance a little. "Wow. Those things move fast am I right?" Lilacdream didn't respond. Her eyes were clouded and distant. Amberstar panicked slightly realising she hadn't answered the question about if she was ok, and hadn't happened to hear her over statement. Quickly she looked both ways and then darted across. 

Amberstar couldn't quite explain the feelings she had for Lilacdream. They're basically the ones you'd feel for family. But.... Lilacdream isn't her family. So Amberstar didn't understand why she felt she had protect her. Like you would a little sister. Like her Dad wanted to protect her. But her Dad was the only family she had. Her Mother was dead and apparently she had no siblings. Unless he was lying. But surely he wasn't. He wouldn't lie about something that important. Right? 

Amberstar reached Lilacdream and wrapped her body around her in a sort of protective manner. It just felt instinctive really. "Hey. Hey. Lilacdream. Are you okay? Whats wrong?" Lilacdream went to open her mouth and then broke down into tears. Amberstar's heart strings were being tugged on and her instincts took over again. "Hey. Hey. Shh. Shh. Lilacdream it's okay. I'm okay. Your okay. Everything's okay." She started to calm a little but she still looked so fragile. Amberstar was still stinging with the need to shield her from everything, the not knowing why bugging her the most!   
"A-A-Am-berstorm-m." She stuttered.   
"Yes Lilacdream?" She asked ignoring the use of her warrior name.   
"Please don't leave me!" She burried her head into Amberstar's scruff.   
"Don't worry Lilacdream." She told her sounding like a Mother. "Im not going anywhere. Look at me Lilacdream." She didn't. "Lilacdream. Look at me." She did this time. "I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere as long as you need me." Suddenly Amberstar was overcome with a sense of nostalgia but she pushed the fresh wave of confusion it brung down. She'd calmed Lilacdream down and that's all that mattered.

"Thank you Amberstar...." Lilacdream mumbled looking at her paws. "That's not even the first time I've done that today.... and you didn't have to do that.... so thanks.... I-I really appreciate it....."  
"What do you mean I didn't have too?" Amberstar mewed. "Of course I did! I needed to make sure you were ok! Your my friend and I care about you."  Lilacdream smiled.  
"I know.... it's just not that many people would do that for me...."   
"Well they're mouse-brains aren't they?! I don't see why anyone wouldn't want to help you. Your kind and smart and I'm pretty sure you have a good sense of humour. They just don't know what they're missing!"   
"That's cause they don't think they're missing anything......"    
"Really? Well we'll just have to prove them wrong!" Amberstar gave her an enthusiastic nudge.  
"Yeah... yeah! Come on Sweetberry won't wait for ever and neither will Greenapple!" Amberstar was taken aback by her sudden enthusiasm, but happily bounded after her into the forest, disappearing into the trees around them......

 

Just like old times.....


	7. Greenapple ships it

"I wonder where the stars will take us!" Sweetberry marveled as they wandered into territory no other cat had ever been.   
"Me too." Greenapple marvelled with her.   
"Shouldn't we be finding somewhere to sleep?" Amberstar asked sounding a little concerned. "It's getting dark." The others nodded in agreement.   
"It shouldn't be hard." Lilacdream mewed sensing Amberstar's concerned. "The trees are very thick here and there are a lot of thickets too." It didn't take too long for them to find shelter.

"This kinda looks like a mini camp!" Greenapple mewed happily.  
"No it doesn't." Amberstar muttered.  
"Come on! Don't be such a downer!" Amberstar ignored him curling up the corner of their 'mini camp.' Greenapple sighed.

"Geez what's gotten under your fur?"   
"Nothing. It's stupid." Amberstar replied bluntly.   
"If it's nothing then why's it bothering you?"   
"Shut up I'm trying to sleep!" With one last concerned look at Amberstar, Greenapple gave up and settled down a few tail lengths away from her. 

"Guess we should go to sleep too. We'll need as much energy as we can get for the next few days." Lilacdream nodded in agreement but if she was being honest she really wasn't tired. Then an idea hit her.   
"Are we gonna take shifts to look out while the others sleep...?" She asked. Sweetberry thought on it for a few minuets.   
"You know. I think we'll be okay. We haven't smelt anything dangerous, and there's a lot of cover around. Besides I'll wake up if there really is trouble. I sleep lightly!" 

That last part was a lie, but Sweetberry was trying to sound convincing. Sweetberry was a very heavy sleeper and she knew it. But she also knew both Amberstar and Greenapple where asleep and wouldn't appreciate being woken up, and they both needed their sleep. And that's why Sweetberry was relieved when Lilacdream nodded. She settled down near Amberstar and Sweetberry settled slightly in front of the gap between Amberstar and Greenapple. Sleep found Sweetberry very quickly, however it did not find Lilacdream as easy. 

 

Lilacdream had been lying head in paws for what felt like an eternity trying to sleep. In reality it was probably about an hour or so but it felt a lot longer to Lilacdream. She sighed. This wasn't going anywhere. She knew what she needed to do. She just didn't feel safe enough. Not alone in unknown territory..... 

Lilacdream didn't really know wether this was a good idea or not, but all she cared about was sleep right now. So in consequence she didn't think her decision over. Instead she slowly padded over to Sweetberry. She stopped as Greenapple stirred a little in his sleep, but continued once he'd settled down. When she finally did reach Sweetberry she lay down carefully pressing against her. She closed her eyes as sleep finally found it's way to her. 

*****  
Sweetberry woke up with something heavy pushing on her chest. She opened her eyes making some weird half asleep noise. She then lifted her head to be greeted by a strange sight. "Lilacdream...? What....?" She mumbled half asleep. Lilacdream stirred a little and then slowly opened her eyes. She met Sweetberry's confused gaze and then quickly scrabbled to her paws in embarrassment. 

"O-oh my Starclan.... I-I'm so sorry Sweetberry..... I-I j-just couldn't sleep and....." Still tired Sweetberry heaved herself to her paws.   
"Hey it's okay. I don't mind. I have had a lot of people tell me I'm comfy." The pair chuckled a little before breaking into an awkward silence. Both cats had blushes on their faces.

"I ship it!" Greenapple yowled breaking the silence, but making it more awkward.   
"Greenapple I'm gonna kill you!" Sweetberry yelled after him as she began to chase him.  
"Well that's not very sweet of you is it?"   
"Greenapple!" She yowled again looking ready to pounce.   
"Fox-dung." He said as he quickly darted into the trees, Sweetberry hot on his heels. Lilacdream was still blushing when Amberstar began to stir.

"What's all the commotion...?" She mumbled half asleep still.   
"Erm.... I-I think Sweetberry's going to kill Greenapple...."   
"Oh..." she replied a little confused. She yawned and then got up going over to Lilacdream.

"I'm kinda hungry." Amberstar stated.   
"Well I think the best plan of action would be to save Greenapple and then hunt whilst we walk. That way we can satisfy our bellies and the need to go to.... wherever." Lilacdream shrugged looking at Amberstar for approval. This confused Amberstar. She's not from my clan. Why is she looking at me for approval? She's a medicine cat she surely knows what she's doing. She's experienced, much more than me. So why? Amberstar gave her approval and the two headed of. 

After walking for a few minutes Lilacdream flicked her tail indicating Amberstar to stop. She did so and Lilacdream dropped into a hunters crouch. Slowly she crept forward and then sprang. Amberstar heard a yowl of alarm and pocked her way through the bushes. When she stepped out she saw Lilacdream wrestling Sweetberry whilst Greenapple cheered Lilacdream on. Huh. Amberstar thought. I didn't realise they were such good fighters. Amberstar was impressed, those were some pretty advanced moves.

"Wow. Pretty good for medicine cats, right?" Greenapple mewed, Amberstar nodding in agreement.   
"Hey!" Sweetberry mewed mewed throwing Lilacdream off her back. "I heard that!"   
"Yeah. Never underestimate medicine cats. We could kill you in so many ways and you wouldn't even know it!" Lilacdream told them almost threateningly.  
".... please don't kill me...." Greenapple mewed sounding genuinely afraid.   
"Don't worry." Sweetberry mewed. "Your off the hook.... for now!" Lilacdream sighed.  
"Come on." She told them turning round. "let's stop acting like gets and get going. We can hunt on they way." So they began to pad into unknown territory.....

"Amberpaw? Amberpaw! Your hurt what happened?" Lilacpaw mewed nervously bounding up to her.   
"Nothing." Amberpaw muttered a reply.   
"Then why are you limping?!" Lilacpaw pressed sniffing her.  
"Let me look at your paw." She didn't move. "Amberpaw." Slowly she lifted his paw. She'd stepped on a thorn on the way here.

"Ouch! Amberpaw that looks painful! Did you just do it?" She asked. Amberpaw nodded.   
"It's really nothing though. I'll get Waterlilly to look at it when I return."   
"Amberpaw no it could get infected. Wait there." She sped of into the underground before she could protest, a few minuets later returning with some herbs.

 

"What's that?" She asked.   
"Yarrow to stop the infection and cobwebs to help the bleeding and keep the wound closed." Lilacpaw replied. She began chewing it up and spat it out when it was pulpy. She then began rubbing it on Amberpaw's pad. It stung but she didn't flinch. After she gently pressed the cobwebs to the wound. 

"There she mewed all better. So Amberpaw.... Amberpaw.....Amberpaw!" Greenapple yowling her name snapped her out of her.... thoughts....? "Come on!"   
"Oh err.... right sorry..." he mewed confusion clouding him. What was that all about...?


	8. Some new arrivals

Lilacdream was walking around looking for prey when she heard a voice. "Lilacdream! Lilacdream! I found you!" She felt small brown figure tackle into her paws.   
"Bonsaipaw?! What in the name of Starclan are you doing here?!"   
"Oh I had a bet with Flutterpaw. We were betting about who could find you first!" They replied sounding full of themself.   
"Okay, okay. Right.... what did you bet over, why didn't you go to Amberstar, and why did you think it was a good idea?!" She yowled at the apprentice.   
"I don't know, I don't know and do I have to tell you what we bet on....?" Lilacdream narrowed her eyes at them.   
"Fine come with me...."   
"You sound like your evil or something."   
"Yeah I get that a lot." 

She led them back to their 'mini camp.' "Welcome to temporary home! Would you like some food?" She told them happily, gesturing to the fresh kill pile she'd made. Okay so yeah she may have already caught a sparrow and a mouse and brought them back, but they need it! They don't know how well the prey will run where they're going! And from looks of it Bonsaipaw and Flutterpaw have joined them....

"Yeah! Can I have the sparrow?"  
"Sure." Lilacdream said amused as Bonsaipaw tripped over their prey. They ate half of it and eventually got full. 

"Lilacdream I'm tired." They mewed sounding like it.   
"I'm not surprised. You've walked an awfully long way for apprentice and you've just had a big meal! I'd be asleep by now if it were me!" Lilacdream replied sounding like their mother. Lilacdream suddenly felt greif claw at her belly but pushed it down as the other cats emerged from the clearing. 

"I found Flutterpaw whilst hunting." Amberstar mewed.   
"Yeah and I found Bonsaipaw." Lilacdream told her trying not sound harsh.   
"He beat me! Fox-dung!" Flutterpaw mewed annoyed. "Where is he, I'm gonna claw his fur off!"  
"Over there." Lilacdream told her pointing to Bonsaipaw, who happened to be under the half eaten sparrow.   
"There's no one there Lilacdream...." Amberstar mewed concerned.  
"Wait what?" Lilacdream sighed noticing the predicament. Starclan she wasn't crazy! She pulled the sparrow off Bonsaipaw to reveal none over than Bonsaipaw.

"Oh my Starclan it's Bonsaipaw! What a miracle!" Lilacdream exaggerated sarcastically.  
"Bonsaipaw!" Flutterpaw yowled causing poor Bonsaipaw to jolt awake, scrabbling to his paws.   
".... I was having a nice nap....."   
"I don't care!" Flutterpaw replied grumpily. "You beat me!"  
"Sorry....?" They replied questioningly.   
"Ugh, I can't believe you Bonsaipaw!" She told them stalking off to fresh kill pile and taking Lilacdream's mouse. Eventually they both went to sleep.

"So what do we do with them?" Amberstar asked.  
"Well we can't exactly take them back to their clans." Sweetberry mewed. "We have more important things to do."   
"They I say we don't." Lilacdream voiced her opinion causing all heads to turn to her. She began to feel nervous. Swallowing she continued, "well we can't take them back and we can't let them go back by themselves so we should let them come. Besides what if it's in Starclan's plan?"  
"Your right Lilacdream." Amberstar sighed. "Let's get them up and ourselves fed, then we can head off." They all nodded their agreement, ready to start their journey with some new editions. But who's to say any of them are ready for what's to come....?


	9. A new face in the autumn breeze

Flutterpaw stood up with a sigh the stars shining beneath her. She wondered if her ancestors could see her now? Or were the ancestors of other animals in these stars? If so were they watching her? Did they care? Who knows. 

Flutterpaw slowly walked out of their makeshift camp, careful not to wake anyone else up. Once she was a few tail-lengths away she stopped. Sitting down she looked up at the bright, round moon. It was so beautiful. Everyone thought that. But did the moon think the same? Did it think they were beautiful? Did it think she was beautiful...?

Whilst Flutterpaw was having an existential Bonsaipaw was beginning to wake up. Not because Flutterpaw had woken him but because they were cold. Where's Flutterpaw? Bonsaipaw wondered looking around not seeing her. She was nice and warm..... Sniffing the air Bonsaipaw followed her scent to where he found her just staring. Staring into space. Figuratively and literally. 

"Hey Flutterpaw! Watchya doing?" Flutterpaw let out a squeak of surprise quickly turning to face them.   
"B-Bonsaipaw you-what-did You follow me?!" She mewed struggling for words in her surprise.   
"No." They snickered.  
"What's so funny?" Flutterpaw demanded.  
"You-you sounded like a mouse!" Bonsaipaw laughed earning a glare from Flutterpaw.  
"Sh-shut up!" She mewed embarrassed. 

"So. What are you doing?" Flutterpaw asked once Bonsaipaw had calmed down.   
"I was cold....." they murmured.   
"And?"  
"You were warm...."  
"Why didn't go to Lilacdream or something?" Bonsaipaw shrugged in response. Well as much as a cat can shrug anyway. The pair stayed silent for a while. 

"Bonsaipaw.... do you.... do you think I'm stupid....?" Flutterpaw mewed distantly finally breaking the silence.   
"What? No of course not!" They told him utterly shocked at the question. "Why would you ask me that?"  
"Bonsaipaw.... I.... I don't like it....."   
"What?"  
"This Bonsaipaw! This...! this isn't me Bonsaipaw...! this isn't...." she trailed off.   
"Then what is you?" There was a long pause.   
"Autumnpaw.... Autumnpaw is me...."  
"Tell me about Autumnpaw."   
"Autumnpaw is a respected and loyal tom. A proud member of Quartzclan! A great hunter too...." she was smiling bitterly to herself. "That's stupid right....?"  
"No. It's you."  
"But... how can I make it me?"  
"I can make it you." A mew made both jump in surprise. It was only Lilacdream.

"How many people are going to scare me tonight?!" Flutterpaw yowled.  
"Amberstar and Greenapple if you don't quite down!" Lilacdream chuckled back. "Flutterpaw you should have told me sooner. I would have happily done it...."   
"D-do you really have the power do it?" She asked meeting Lilacdream's gaze.   
"Of course!" Lilacdream said proudly. "I'm Quartzclan's medicine cat, I can do whatever I want!"   
"Really?"   
"Yep. As long as I say 'it's medicine cat business I can't discuss' or 'Starclan told me to' then I'm fine!"   
"How often do you lie?" Bonsaipaw asked joining the conversation.   
Everyday of my pitiful existence.   
"Not that often.... Anyway why don't we get this renaming ceremony done?"   
"Okay!" Flutterpaw mewed shooting up.   
"Good spirit! I'll be back in one tick kay?"  
"Alright!"  
"Where do you think she's going?"Bonsaipaw asked.   
"I don't care." Flutterpaw said excitedly shuffling her paws. "I just hope she comes back soon." A few minuets later she did come back. 

"Welp I got permission from a half asleep Amberstar so let's go!" Lilacdream announced distractedly.   
"Does that count?" Bonsaipaw asked curiously.   
"Sure it does!"  
"Do you even know what your doing?"   
"Sure I do!"  
"Are you lying again!"  
"Shut up Bonsaipaw!"

After finding a clearing Lilacdream sat down clearing her throat. "Starclan you may not walk these skies but I truly believe my words will reach you." Lilacdream began looking up at the stars. She closed her eyes before continuing. "I am here presenting you Flutterpaw of Quartzclan. Flutterpaw does not feel she is truly her so by request present to you Autumnpaw Of Quartzclan. He will serve his clan greatly as a who he truly is." Lilacdream had opened her eyes now and they seemed to be glowing just like the stars. Had Starclan really excepted him? Lilacdream looked at Autumnpaw beckoning him to join her. "Thank you Starclan." They both said in unison.   
"I promise you won't regret your decision!" Autumnpaw mewed. "I'll do everything Lilacdream says!" Bonsaipaw let out a squeak of excitement and came bonding over from where he'd been watching from the sidelines.   
"Autumnpaw! Autumnpaw!" He cheered a large grin plastered on his face, and Autumnpaw had to admit she was the same.   
"Come on. Let's go. We'll be as grumpy as badgers in the morning!"  
"Thank you Lilacdream."  
"It's okay Autumnpaw."   
I love you... Both of you...

~what Lilacdream did~ 

"Amberstar, psst Amberstar wake up!"  
"Lilacdream....?" Amberstar mumbled without opening her eyes.  
"I'm gonna give Flutterpaw a renaming ceremony. She's not happy. I'm gonna make her Autumnpaw!"  
"Kay.... you go do that...."  
"Thanks! I thought I'd ask you for permission seeing as your the closest thing to Rosestar-"  
"Lilacdream...."  
"Yeah....?"  
"Stay safe Lilacdream..... I love you....."  
"... I love you too Amberstar....."


	10. Mixed memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amberstar is a weirdo according to tiddles17 ....

Angrily Garnetleaf made her way into Ashclan. "Move!" She demanded pushing two young warriors out her way.  
"W-wait." One of them stuttered. "What are you doing?"  
"None of your business!" Garnetleaf made her way into Waterlilly's den. She checked over Lilacdream, letting out a sigh of relief when she realised she was doing okay. Silently Garnetleaf curled around her small apprentice. 

"Garnetleaf..." Cloudstar mewed.   
"What?" She snarled in response.   
"What are you doing?"  
"Looking after my apprentice!"  
"Garnetleaf-"  
"I'm not leaving till she can."  
"Is Rosestar okay with this?"  
"No and I don't care!" Cloudstar let out a long sigh. "Come with me."   
"Fine!" Garnetleaf replied getting up. "But I'm coming back as soon as we're done!" Ambestorm had been silently watching this whole time. Slowly she shuffled closer to Cloudstar's where Garnetleaf had disappeared. 

"You did what?!" Amberstorm heard Garnetleaf roar from the den.  
"Garnetleaf-"  
"Are you mouse-brained?"   
"Says you! You have no right to come into my clan and tell me what to do! I could easily claw your ears off!"   
"Ooh I'd like to see you try Rowanblaze. I really would. And with them being my family too I think I do have right. Sure Amberpaw's your daughter but what about Lilacpaw?"   
"She was never mine." Someone was growling deeper now. Amberstorm was confused. What in the name of Starclan were they talking about?  
"And that's why I won't leave her with you. Filthy peace of crow-food!"  
"What did you just call me?"   
"I called you-"  
....  
....  
....

That was the time Lilacdream saw Garnetleaf.... if only she stayed home.... why did she have to care so much? To give up her motherhood.... for her.... Lilacdream was never understand why she did that.... 

"Lilacpaw..." Flutterkit had said. "Lilacpaw. What happened to Mummy?" Lilacpaw tensed. What was she supposed to say?  
"Mummy's hunting with the stars now... she... she's in a better place now...."  
"When can I see her again?"   
"One day you will Flutterkit. One day...." 

....  
....  
....

Amberkit stared gloomily at the Quartzclan camp. Today was the day.... it felt so bad now it was finally here.... Amberkit didn't understand though! Why can't Mum, Dad and Lilackit stay here? It doesn't make sense! But.... she couldn't stop it.... she was just a kit right....? Maybe one day she could change.... one day.... 

And that's exactly what she said to Lilackit that day. She promised. And she wouldn't break it. She wouldn't. "I'm gonna be a medicine cat when I'm a paw!" Lilackit had announced  
"̶K̶a̶y̶.̶.̶.̶.̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶g̶o̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶.̶.̶.̶.̶"̶ Amberkit mewed less cheery than her sister.   
"Aw come on Amberkit. I'll still see you!"  
"When?"  
"At the gatherings!" She lent closer to Amberpaw. "And we can meet at the border!"  
"But isn't that breaking claw law?"  
"Not if we don't cross the boarder!"  
"Fair enough...."  
"Amberkit! Hurry up! I'm waiting!" Rowanblaze called impatiently.  
"... well I guess this is goodbye..." Lilackit mewed sadly. She turned round heading for the nursery.   
"̶L̶i̶l̶a̶c̶d̶r̶e̶a̶m̶-̶k̶i̶t̶.̶.̶.̶.̶"̶ ̶ She stopped not turning to face him.  
"̶S̶t̶a̶y̶ ̶s̶a̶f̶e̶ ̶L̶i̶l̶a̶c̶d̶r̶e̶a̶m̶-̶k̶i̶t̶.̶.̶.̶.̶ ̶I̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶.̶.̶.̶.̶"̶  
"̶I̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶o̶o̶.̶.̶.̶.̶"̶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cloudstar is a psycho according to tiddles17   
> She wrote 'do you want from me you psycho'


	11. Trouble in the mist of dawn

The two cats shot awake at almost the exact same time, panting heavily. Their eyes met both stared into each over until Lilacdream looked away almost guiltily..... she sat there facing away for awhile. Amberstar just watched her eyes burning into the back of her head. There was something she wasn't telling her.....

"Where is everyone?" Lilacdream asked looking up, but still not at her. "They should be here, they should-"  
"Lilacdream..."  
"Hmm?" Amberstar padded over to her.   
"Lilacdream what happened that day....?"  
"What day?" She asked like she was playing dumb.   
"They day Rowanblaze attacked you..... and Garnetleaf she.... why does he hate you....?"  
"I... I don't know.... what makes you think I know....?"  
"Lilacdream do-"  
"I'm not!" She yowled angrily. "I asked him time and time again. Never does her ever give me reason! I don't care he hurts! I don't care Dawnmist's gone! That doesn't give him the right to- to exclude me from my family!"  
"What do you mean Lilacdream? This is the point I don't understand, but I know there's something your not telling me-"  
"Why won't you understand it's not my fault!" Lilacdream broke Amberstar off, tearing up. "It wasn't my fault...." Suddenly something came back to Amberstar.   
"Do you feel bad about the accident...?"  
"... Amberstar...."  
"Do you fell bad about the accident?"  
"Amberstar your my sister....."  
"Lilacdream answer me- wait what?"   
"I-it's nothing important...."  
"Lilacdream...."  
"Leave me alone!" She yowled darting into the undergrowth, Amberstar hot on her heels. 

Lilacdream just ran. She didn't know where she was going. And she didn't care. She don't wanted to get away from this.... this mess.... suddenly she felt something tackle her to the floor. 

"Get off me!" She yowled at her attacker.... it wasn't Amberstar...  
"What are you doing?" The cat hissed. "This is our territory!"   
"I said get off!" Lilacdream yowled managing to throw off her attacker.  
"And I asked you a question! Don't you have any respect?" Lilacdream let out a long sigh. She had to be smart about this.

"Look I don't want any trouble-"  
"Then you shouldn't have come!" He growled. "Follow me I'm sure Moonwatcher and Starteller would love to hear what you have to say!" Great more difficult cats. Just what I need..... grumpily Lilacdream slowly followed behind the tom wishing she could just be at home. She inspected the camp when she arrived. It was pretty big and it bordered the mountain you could sometimes see in her clan. It looked a lot bigger up close.

"Starteller! Moonwatcher! I found a trespasser!" The tom yelled at some dens in a cliff.   
"Again?" A slender yellow she-cat mewed sticking her head out the den.   
"I thought I told you not to bring trespassers back!" A dark grey wolf mewed.   
"But-"  
"Does that mean I can leave?" Lilacdream asked.   
"No." The tom turned on her.  
"Err Rubble that's not your decisions it's ours."  
"That's the fourth time this moon." The wolf added. The pair began climbing the rocky slope.   
"You really need to start listening Rubble."   
"Yeah the last trespasser was scary! He threatened me...."  
"He was concerned about his brother Moonwatcher."   
"Still...."  
The she-cat sighed. "You May leave Rubble."  
"Yes Starteller....." Rubble mumbled trudging away grumpily. Geez. Lilacdream thought. She brought her attention back to the leaders. 

"So what are you doing here?" Starteller asked.   
"Hopefully it doesn't involve killing us...."  
"Moonwatcher!"   
"Sorry...." Lilacdream chuckled a little.   
"That trespasser must have scared you." She commented.  
"Oh he did believe me!"   
"He was a to-be!" Starteller exclaimed.  
"Shut up Starteller no one wanted your opinion!"   
"I think it's fact Moonwatcher."   
"Back to the question what are you doing here?" Moonwatcher asked quickly changing the subject.   
"I was sent on an important mission from Starclan with some of my friends.... but I got in a fight with one of them.... I err... ended up here..."   
"Wait Starclan...." Starteller mewed narrowing her eyes. "Excuse me a minuet...." she stood and headed into one of the dens.   
"Oh she must be getting Dawn! Dawn knows all about Starclan. And the clans back there who believe in them! Are you from there?" Moonwatcher asked.   
".... yeah...." Lilacdream watched and waited. A few seconds later Starteller reappeared with a light grey and white she-cat. The cats met eyes.   
"L-Lilac...."  
"Well I'm out of here goodbye!" Lilacdream said turning around. There was no way this was real! She's probably imaging things. Yeah that's... that's it....

"You know her?" Moonwatcher asked.  
"She's my daughter.... Lilac... I'm sorry that's disrespectful. I don't know your warrior name." Lilacdream stopped dead in her tracks. "Where's you sister? And your Father? Are they at home?" Lilacdream felt eyes burning the fact of her head. "No.... Amberstar's here.... she's your family.... go talk to her not me...."   
"Lilacdream wait!" Amberstar scrabbled down the slope after her.   
"̶D̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶l̶e̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶!̶"̶


	12. The cutest thing Sweetberry’s seen

"Amberstar stay here. I think your sister needs some time to herself. She'll come back just not now." I hope.  
"Is it really true? Y-your alive..." Amberstar stuttered a little. Dawnmist let out a long sigh.   
"Yes Amberstar. I'm sorry.... I couldn't stay it the clans.... it was what Starclan wanted... I tried to tell Rowanblaze but he wouldn't except it... I'm so sorry he told you I-I died..."  
"It's okay.... right now I don't think that's the worse thing he's done..."   
"What Do you m-"  
"Amberstar! Fox-dung! What's going on where's Lilacdream? And where are we we? What are you even doing Amberstar? Have you seen Autumnpaw? And Bonsaipaw?" Sweetberry mewed hurriedly appearing out of nowhere, Greenapple at her tail. 

"She...she... made me run.... all the way.... here..." Greenapple panted collapsing by Amberstar.   
"Sorry Sweetberry But I got none of that." Amberstar mewed nervously.   
"Okay okay." Sweetberry took a deep breath trying to calm down. "Let's start at the beginning. What happened?"  
"Me and Lilacdream got in a fight..."  
"Okay where is she?"   
"We don't know. She ran off again... but Dawnmist says she'll come back when she's calmed down." Sweetberry gave a quick glance in Dawnmist direction before continuing.   
"And where are we?"   
"Your in the Tribe Of The Setting Sun." Starteller answered making a Sweetberry jump.  
"... and your the leader...?" She asked.   
"Yes me and Moonwatcher both lead the tribe. I'm assuming you'll want to stay so I've gotten him to make you some room in the dens."   
"Thanks. That's awfully kind of you." Sweetberry mewed dipping her head in respect. 

"Hey what about Fl-Autumnpaw? And Bonsaipaw? You seen them? We sent them back to the 'camp' but when we got back they were gone. We followed your scent and we think they followed you too."   
"Well we did and I want answers but Autumnpaw's was so insistent on waiting!" Bonsaipaw mewed appearing as if on cue.   
"Oh shut up!" Autumnpaw mewed.   
"Your giving me a headache!" Lilacdream mewed.   
"No. I think that was the ground." Bonsaipaw replied.  
"Well your certainly not helping."  
"Are you okay?" Sweetberry mewed rushing to Lilacdream's side.  
"Yeah I just hit my head. I'm okay. It's just a little scratch."   
"That's not a little scratch Lilacdream. That looks sore. Come on let's go raid the herb store." Sweetberry stood up sniffing the air and headed past the leaders den. Lilacdream followed slowly a small smile finding way to her face. Amberstar watched them until they disappeared into one of the holes in the cliff. 

"Hey it'll be okay." Greenapple mewed putting his paw on Amberstar's. Greenapple smiled warmly at him Amberstar giving his a nervous smile in return. Autumnpaw turned away from them to face Bonsaipaw who he was more concerned about. He shuffled a little closer to him.   
"What's wrong Bonsaipaw...?"  
"Nothing!" He snapped.  
"Bonsaipaw. I know that's a lie and so do you."   
"I-I-I just.... what Lilacdream said.... Dad always said what a bad person she was yet.... Lilacdream was always so so nice to me! I just.... what if it's true Autumnpaw? What if everything Dad ever said was a lie? I don't want Rowanblaze to be a bad person Autumnpaw! Wh-what if that make me a bad person...." Autumnpaw could practically feel his heart melting. He had to make this right.  
"Bonsaipaw. Look at me. Your Dad may have lied. He may have done bad things. Lilacdream might me your half sister. And she might not. And you know what? I don't care. And neither should you. Because that won't change you. It doesn't define you Bonsaipaw! No matter what happens I-I'll always love you Bonsaipaw. A-and I won't let anything change that okay?" Autumnpaw announced oblivious to the fact he just confessed.   
"Thank you Autumnpaw." They said burrying their scruff in his neck. After a few minuets they pulled away smiling.   
"And you know what Autumnpaw? I love you too." Autumnpaw felt a blush form on his face.   
"I-I actually said that?!"  
"Yeah."  
"Oh fox-dung that's... that's...."  
"The cutest thing I've ever seen!" Sweetberry exclaimed appearing of nowhere again. Flutterpaw squealed in surprise looking even more embarrassed.   
"Sh-Shut up Sweetberry! No one likes you!"  
"Not true. Lilacdream likes me. Don't you?"  
"Huh... oh yeah... I like you.... as a friend!" Lilacdream stuttered.  
"Yeah best friends!"   
"...y-yeah..."  
"Looks like we have another couple on our hands..." Autumnpaw whispered.   
"Yep."  
"Well your scheming can wait. I think it's time we find out what happened in camp." Greenapple mewed having left Amberstar's side previously.   
"Yeah your right..." Bonsaipaw mewed nervously with only Autumnpaw by their side to keep them comfort....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People keep appearing out of nowhere don't they. Oops.


	13. A flicker of hope

"I-it all started when you left Dawnmist..." Lilacdream began swallowing hard. "He... he was broken. He got so upset just.... no one could help him Dawnmist. No one could help him because he wouldn't admit he was hurting. He though he was weak. It was almost as if he fell into the dark abyss of that pain and.... he got lost. He started taking that pain out on me. He lied about me constantly trying to make me a bad person. Trying to make me like him. I was fine most of the time because Garnetleaf was there to defend me but.... but eventually her time came..." Amberstar sat intently watching Lilacdream thoughts and blurred memories racing round her head. This was true. It was all true it was all..... 

"Lilacpaw look out!" Amberpaw screeched pushing her s̶i̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ out the way. Suddenly pain erupted in her leg. She couldn't move. She couldn't see. All she could so was listen to Lilacpaw's pitiful mews.   
"Let her go! Let her go! Stupid twoleg! Give me my sister back! Please! Don't hurt her! I'm-" you hear a loud thud and Lilacpaw scrabbling back to her paws frantically. Amberpaw heard the door to the monster slam shut as she left her old life behind...

Lilacdream was almost in tears at this point. "Rowanblaze got really mad. He-he blamed me for it and all the rumours got worse. He-he hates me now and he hurt me too. I had to stay in Ashclan for a while. Garnetleaf came there and wouldn't leave.... but then I became a medicine cat and I got my own apprentice. I made friends with Citronstep, Sweetberry, Bonsaipaw and the other healers. I just avoided Rowanblaze. I didn't know where Amberstar was. I hadn't him for Starclan knows how long. I-I thought she was dead but then you came back. You came back and now we're here...." Dawnmist was the first to speak.   
"Oh Lilacdream... I don't know what to say...."  
"You don't have to say anything." She replied quietly.   
"I remember." Amberstar suddenly said. "I remember everything!" He looked up at Lilacdream and Dawnmist.   
"Really?" Lilacdream mewed. She nodded.   
"Yeah.... I do...." she mewed warmly tears brimming her eyes. "I do."   
"̶I̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶g̶o̶ ̶h̶o̶m̶e̶!̶"̶


	14. If you want something done right, you do it yourself

"Hello cats of the clans!" Autumnpaw yowled waltzing into the gathering he owned the place.   
"And wolves!" Bonsaipaw called from where they were walking with Dawnmist.   
"Hello cats and wolves of the clans!" He corrected himself.  
"Flutterpaw? Is that you?" Smokyquartz asked making her way to the side of the gathering they were on.   
"Nope! I'm not Flutterpaw anymore. I'm Autumnpaw. Lilacdream gave me a name changing ceremony!" She announced to her clan mate proudly.  
"Really? You can do that?" Smokyquartz asked turning her attention to Lilacdream.  
"Hopefully....?" She replied back nervously smiling.   
"Well it's good to see you. Especially you Autumnpaw and Bonsaipaw. We were all so worried when you disappeared."  
"S-Sorry Rosestar." The mewed in unison dipping their heads.  
"Anyway are you okay with me being Autumnpaw now...?" He asked uncertain.  
"Of course Autumnpaw." Rosestar replied putting her paw on his. "You have nothing to worry about."   
"Bonsaipaw! Don't run off like that ever again!" Rowanblaze mewed angrily having made his way through the crowd.  
"It's okay Dad. He had his siblings to look after him!" Amberstar mewed.  
"What?" Rowanblaze mewed sounding a little stern.   
"She knows Rowanblaze. How many times do I have to tell you you can't hide the truth forever?"   
"D-Dawnmist..." Rowanblaze stuttered in disbelief.  
"You know very well it's me Rowanblaze. I told you where I was going and you tell everyone I'm dead!"   
"D-Dawnmist I-"   
"Save your excuses, Rowanblaze. It's Lilacdream you need to explain something to." 

Redapple had made her way to Greenapple. She was about to start a conversation when Citronstep appeared. "Hey!" He growled tugging at Greenapple's ear.   
"Hey to you too!" He replied annoyed.   
"We need to talk." Citronstep snarled back at him.   
"About what?" Redapple asked seeming defensive.   
"You know what now come on!" He turned away heading away from the gathering. Redapple and Greenapple shared a nervous glance before following him into the undergrowth. 

"You were supposed to get rid of her!" He snapped.  
"Well sorry for having second thoughts about killing someone!" Greenapple snapped back.  
"Why didn't you do it?!"   
"Citronstep I love Amberstar and I couldn't hurt her sister like that..." Greenapple explained.   
"So she knows now?" Citronstep asked surprised.   
"Yes. Lilacdream came clean." He conferred. Citronstep sighed in frustration.   
"What about you?" He asked looking up at Redapple. "Why didn't you do it?"   
"I can't upset the balance of a family like that Citronstep! Don't you think they're broken enough?" Citronstep flinched a little but quickly recovered.   
"I guess the saying is true. If you want something done right you do it yourself." He stood up about to walk away.  
"Redapple I know you hurting but the solution isn't to hurt overs."   
"Shut up Redapple." He mumbled.  
"Citronstep you know it won't change the situation..."   
"Shut up!"   
"Citronstep-"  
"Shut up! I don't need any of you! Just... leave me alone okay?I'll do it myself and you won't stop me!" He padded angrily back to the gathering tail swishing in annoyance.   
"What was that all about?" Greenapple asked.  
Redapple hesitated "Don't worry it's complicated."   
"Let's go. The others will notice we're gone soon..."  
"...yeah..." 

They padded back into the clearing. Lilacdream, Amberstar, Dawnmist and Rowanblaze were huddled together. Redapple could just about see Autumnpaw too who she supposed had jumped on Bonsaipaw as there was a brown tail by his. "Greenapple! Sweetberry! Come on were having a family huddle!" He called happily. Sweetberry blushed a little.   
"M-me?"   
"Yeah! Lilacdream loves you you know!"   
"Shut up Autumnpaw!" Lilacdream yowled in embarrassment. Greenapple chuckled padding over to them. Redapple watched longingly. If only Amberstar loved her... at that thought Redapple turned her head searching for the dark grey pelt of Citronstep. This family was happy now but she feared whatever Citronstep was planning would tear through the patched up hole... and this time they won't be able to fix it....


	15. An unfortunate turn of events

"̶S̶w̶e̶e̶t̶b̶e̶r̶r̶y̶!̶ ̶S̶w̶e̶e̶t̶b̶e̶r̶r̶y̶!̶ Wake up!"   
" mnngh whaaaaa...." Sweetberry mumbled opening her eyes. Greenapple was standing over her concerned. Suddenly Sweetberry shot up remembering what happened. "Lilacdream!"   
"Wow hey Sweetberry take it easy." Greenapple mewed nervously as she recoiled a little.  
"I- I'm fine it's okay." She replied.   
"Sweetberry what happened. Where's Lilacdream? Is she okay?"   
"I-I don't know. Someone attacked me... Lilacdream she-" Sweetberry cut of as she felt a jolt of pain through her head.   
"Hey. Are you okay?" Greenapple asked worriedly.   
".... my...head...." she struggled out.  
"Here." Greenapple said shuffling forward letting Sweetberry lean on him. He began to panic. What was he supposed to do? He wasn't a medicine cat she was! Okay calm down Greenapple. He took a deep shaky breath trying to think rational thoughts. Suddenly a smell got his attention. Patrol! "Hey! Over here!"  
"Greenapple? What's wrong?" Redapple asked bursting into the clearing. Her eyes lay on Sweetberry and the two shared a horrified look. "Y-you don't think-"  
"Is that Sweetberry?" Autumnmask mewed in surprise. Her and a Bonsainose had been given their warrior names when they got back. Autumnmask had also come to Ashclan along with Sweetberry, Lilacdream, Dawnmist and Greenapple with his sister as well. They wanted to be closer to their family and of course Amberstar didn't mind that but Greenapple couldn't say that about everyone...

"I'll tell the clan. You two three try and get her back to camp." Bonsainose instructed before dashing of. After a little struggling the siblings managed to get Sweetberry on their back as Autumnmask led the way back to camp. When they eventually got there Waterlilly was waiting. She took Sweetberry of their paws and did a much better job at carrying her into the medicine den. 

"What happened?" Amberstar demanded concern on his face.   
"I- we don't know. She said someone attacked her and Lilacdream but she doesn't know who."  
"And what about Lilacdream?"  
"I... I don't know Amberstar." Greenapple mewed quietly. Amberstar walked past as Greenapple watched him pass. Redapple padded up to him.   
"Do you really think Citronstep could have done that?" She whispered. Greenapple shook his head.  
"He may be unhinged but I don't think he'd go that far. You said he loved Lilacdream right so why hurt her?"   
"What if he didn't mean to? From start it was Sweetberry Greenapple. Lilacdream loved Sweetberry and I think it's safe to assume she'd stop someone she loved from getting hurt."   
"What are you two gossiping about?" Silverbirch Ashclan's deputy mewed suspiciously.  
"Nothing Silverbirch." Redapple mewed.  
"Well it better be nothing. Come on. Let's finish the patrol." And so the F̶o̶u̶r̶ cats made their out of camp wondering what conclusion would draw from the recent events still fresh in their minds....


End file.
